God does not want us to have a head knowledge of Him. He does not want us to know about Him.
He wants us to experience Him.
O taste and see that the Lord is good.
God does not want us to have a head knowledge of Him. He does not want us to know about Him.
Last week the children were in the bedroom playing together. My husband and I were in the kitchen working on supper. Then we heard my son begin crying. I thought he was just fretting about his sister taking something from him or knocking down his blocks, or something like that.
We went to to see what was happening, in my mind I was prepared to talk to mediate one of those situations I mentioned before. But when we got into the bedroom we found something totally unexpected.
My son was head standing on the bed. This is not an unusual occurrence, they both have been doing it all the time for the last 2 weeks. But I Quickly analyses wht was happeing in the situation.
My son had stood on his head and his sister came under where his feet would come down. He remained standing on his head because he knew that if he came down she would get hurt. She refused to move and so he began crying instead of coming down on her. And he did this even though his neck was hurting
That is love.
I can’t imagine that I would have done that.
We assume that children don’t understand true love. Not so! In his little mind he has a greater understanding than so many of us do-
LOVE IS SELFLESS and would rather suffer than cause others hurt.
Once again I have been taught by a little child.
He gave me a clearer picture of the love of God which gives and expects nothing in return. And He gives inspire of whatever cost it is to Himself.
For God so loved the world that He gave (not lent) His only Begotten Son (John 3:16).
Last week we listened to the first part of a testimony from Jamie about her journey through a difficult pregnancy. You can read the first part of that testimony here.
Today we will hear the conclusion of this testimony.
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
II once again, became hysterical. I called my husband, who conveniently works across the street from the hospital, and he came right away. “Why is this happening to me? How can God let this happen? This is a nightmare!” was all I could say to him as I sobbed
My Dr. came over from his office to talk to me, and he laid out the facts. They were; no more sitting up in bed, no more getting up to useu the restroom, (except to poop- because I begged!) no more showers, and I would be in the hospital until I delivered, and I would be delivering soon. He assured me that I was much better off delivering now that I was 28 weeks, as opposed to 27 weeks, when I first came into the hospital. I did not feel any relief.
I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust. (Psalms 91:2)
From the first day that I was in the hospital, my nurses kept asking me if I wanted a NICU consult with a neonatologist, which was standard protocol for someone that would be delivering a pre-term baby. He would come talk to us and lay out the facts as to what we could expect with our baby in the NICU. I kept telling the nurses that I was not ready to face the fact that I was going to have a NICU baby, but after my latest ultrasound results, James and I thought maybe it would be a good idea to go ahead with the consult. Maybe the Dr. would give us some encouraging statistics. But- I still wasn’t at that point yet. I felt like asking for the consult was like giving up on this “fight” with my pregnancy. I knew we needed to do it, but I just couldn’t face it yet.
The following Monday I had another ultrasound. I was now 29 weeks and 4 days. My cervix was now slightly shorter, only .7cm in length. My Dr wasn’t exactly happy with this, but he did tell me that if my cervix continued to shorten at the rate that it had in the past week, I could make it maybe another 2 or so weeks. And if I could just get to that 32 week milestone, things would look a lot better. I couldn’t wrap my mind around making it another day, let alone another 2 and a half weeks.
That same day, all of the anxiety was building up and giving me contractions again. I needed to be back on the magnesium. I also learned that my short term disability that we had been counting on had been denied. It was at this point that I totally lost control of my emotions. My sister (who was our live in nanny at the time- she had just graduated from college and did not yet have a job. Praise God for placing her exactly where she was needed at that time. She went from single, college kid, to full time mom in a matter of days.) had brought my almost 2 year old son up, and they had to leave because I could not compose myself, whatsoever. I know my husband was on the brink of a break down as well, but he held strong for me, and tried to calm me down. I was having more and more contractions as my emotions got more and more out of control. I knew I was causing these contractions, but I couldn’t control it. They weren’t nearly as often as they had been at 27 weeks, but I couldn’t afford to have any cervical change.
(Jesus speaking) Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)
My husband stayed the night with me that night and helped me with my bedpan, so that I didn’t have to call the nurses so often. Neither of us got any sleep that night, between me using the restroom, nurses coming in to take my vitals, and my whining from the pain that the magnesium was causing me.
I was off of the magnesium within 2 days, and they had me taking 90mg of Procardia once a day. I was surprisingly holding off contractions for the most part. I was averaging about 2-3 contractions per hour. They were always more frequent in the evenings, when my uterus would feel in a constant state of “irritability.”
I hung in there another week. At 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I had another ultrasound. I was expecting God to bring great news, but knew that the reality of the situation meant that my cervix would probably be shorter yet.
But it had not changed since the previous week.
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom now, and even take a shower. This made me nervous, but it also felt like a small victory. I saw my Dr 2 days later, on a Thursday, and he was very pleased that my cervix was not changing. He said that if I didn’t have too many contractions over the weekend, I could go home the following Monday. This was the same guy who had said that I wouldn’t be leaving until I had the baby, and the baby would be here early. Now he was saying that he felt that if I followed through with my bedrest at home, I could make it a few more weeks. This felt like a larger victory!
But He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (Job 4:10)
September 12, 2011. It was a Monday , and I was 31 weeks and 4 days pregnant. The Dr who came into see my confirmed that my cervix had not changed, and I could go home. I was ready to be with my little boy. I came home and followed my bedrest to a T. It was not a choice. The race was not over. I saw my Dr at the office that Thursday, when I hit 32 weeks. He was very proud of me, and amazed by my pregnancy. He was confused, and said it really didn’t make sense for me to still be pregnant, but yet, there I was. He told me to keep up the bedrest, and he thought I had a great chance to make it to 36 weeks. It was a miracle.
‘O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things you planned long ago.’ (Isaiah 25:1)
The next Tuesday, at 32 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I had another ultrasound of my cervix at the Dr’s office. My cervix still measured .7cm. My Dr. was thrilled with this. He told me to go home and keep up the good work, and that he’d see me in 2 weeks. At 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant, he checked my cervix and said that I was 3-4cm dilated, but he felt that my cervix was slightly thicker. He again, told me to keep up the good work. His nurse told me that in 8 years, I am only the 3rd patient that my Dr. has had to come out of a situation like mine, still pregnant.
At 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I was a full 4cm dilated. He told me to get off of bedrest. I had finished the race. I had come out on top- God saw me through. I was allowed to have the baby, and I could even look forward to it. It was a miracle.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)
Today’s Find Us Faithful series bring us a testimony about how God worked in a difficult pregnancy.
My name is Jamie. I’m 29 and I have been married to my best friend and biggest fan for 8 years. We have two kiddos.. my son turned 5 a few weeks ago and my daughter will turn 3 in a few weeks. Jesus is my everything.
Friday, August 12, 2011. My husband and I were going out for my 26th birthday. I was 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I had “more than normal” contractions this day, but they were pretty irregular. I was expecting to continue to get more and more contractions until I would be put on bedrest, because of the way things went with my pregnancy with my son (preterm labor, starting at 28 weeks, several short hospital stays and various medications, but born healthy at 37 weeks). 8 days prior I had an ultrasound of my cervix and it was over 3cm in length and closed. The Dr was satisfied with it, but said if it got any shorter by 28 weeks, then I would have to be on bedrest. I had been taking 30mg of Procardia since about 24 weeks to try and help ease the contractions, but it was just not working.
We got to Red Lobster and I tell my husband that I don’t think we should be there, I was having too many contractions and needed to lay down. We started to head home. My contractions were alarmingly every 2 mins, so we decided it would be best to go to the hospital.
This is when things become blurry.
We arrived at the hospital and I continued to contract. They hooked me up to the monitors and I was showing to have contractions every 2 minutes. They didn’t hurt, but were uncomfortable, and more so, worrisome. The nurse did a fetal fibronectin test, which is a swab of my cervix that detects the fluid that holds the amniotic sac to the uterine wall. If fibronectin is detected, that means the sac is starting to pull away from the wall and to get ready for delivery. She then checked my cervix and told me I’m 2-3cm dilated and 50% effaced. My fetal fibronectin test came back positive.
I became hysterical. My husband immediately texted all of our close family and friends and told them to PRAY.
They quickly admitted me and got me started me on magnesium sulfate. My Dr showed up. I begged him to not let my baby be born. He said that he couldn’t make any promises. I begged the nurses to not let my baby be born. They couldn’t give me reassurance either. This was an absolute nightmare.
The magnesium gradually slowed my contractions down. By the next morning I was only having 2-3 contractions per hour. I felt very sick from the magnesium- blurred vision, weak, nauseous, dizzy, sore muscles, and pretty much incontinent. I couldn’t even lift my head to take a drink, and James had to practically carry me to the bathroom. I had an ultrasound of my cervix which showed some slight funneling of my cervix (dilation from the inside out) and it measured 2.3cm in length.
The next couple of days were spent trying to wean me off of the magnesium without contractions picking up again. They would bump my dosage down, and then have to bump it back up because I would start in with the regular contractions.
The next Monday, which was day number 3 in the hospital, I had another ultrasound of my cervix. This time there was slightly more funneling and it was slightly shorter, just 2cm in length. My Dr was not upset, but didn’t want to let me go home until I proved I could be stable.
Within a few more days I was off of the magnesium, and less than 24 hours after being off, I started contracting every 2 minutes again. The on call Dr came and checked my cervix and said that she felt my amniotic sac bulging, so I needed to lay with my pelvis higher than my head to reduce the pressure. I also was back on the magnesium. By the next morning, another Dr checked my cervix and much to my relief, she didn’t feel the sac. She said the other Dr must have felt my cervix while I was having a contraction, causing the amniotic sac to bulge.
2 days later, still on a low dose of magnesium, I met with a high risk OB Dr who suggested a different medicine to treat my contractions, an NSAID, Toradol. It was 3 doses over 24 hours. This was on a Friday, exactly a week after I was admitted to the hospital. By the next morning my contractions were totally gone. It was amazing. For the next couple of days I would have as little as 2-3 contractions per day. It was a miracle. I was then confident that maybe I could carry this baby several more weeks yet. Except, over the next few days, I had some bleeding for some reason. The nurses tried to reassure me that it was probably ok, but is it ever really “ok” to bleed while you’re pregnant??
The next Monday, at 28 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I had another ultrasound of my cervix. I was hopeful that my cervix would not have changed, and I’d get to go home and be with my little boy, who I missed so much. I had been having so few contractions, that I was sure to get a good report. The ultrasound tech shuddered when she looked at my cervix on the ultrasound. There was a large amount of funneling, and my cervical length was only .9cm. She also saw my baby kicking my cervix, shortening it with every kick.
I once again, became hysterical. I called my husband, who conveniently works across the street from the hospital, and he came right away. “Why is this happening to me? How can God let this happen? This is a nightmare!” was all I could say to him as I sobbed.
Next week we will hear the conclusion of this testimony.