Marriage is NOT 50/50


Yes you saw this right!

So what on earth could I be talking about?!

I remember when my husband (then fiance) and I were in marriage counselling and  our counselor made this statement. Before he could further explain, I thought to myself “He must be kidding!”

Well he wasn’t and this turned out to be one of the most valuable statements that he made to us during our counselling sessions.

Marriage is not a partnerships where one person gives 50 % and the other person gives 50 %. Oh no!!

It is not an “I’ll meet you half way” agreement!

Marriage is a 100/0 arrangement.

In a marriage we are to give our ALL and expect nothing in return. THAT IS LOVE! Love gives not expecting anything in return, but if it is returned then it REJOICES.

When each person in a marriage gives all that they can give, not holding back, not keeping score, but freely giving, then that is when we will have a marriage that is a blessing- not only to us as husband and wife, but to our children and to all who should come into contact with us.

This is how God loves us. He GIVES US ALL.

He did not wait until we showed Him love to love us. He did not wait until we came to Him to love us. Oh no! From all eternity He loved us!

Romans 5:7-10 King James Version (KJV)

For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

John3:16 King James Version (KJV)

For God so loved the world, that he gave (not lent) his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

So let’s give 100% in our marriages. When we do that we will be blessed and a blessing!

This post was also shared on:


  Jesse Wilcox Smith~ On His Knee   Our Simple Farm 


This entry was posted in Agape Love, Daily Living, Marriage and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Marriage is NOT 50/50

  1. Jason Bender says:

    love it…such a challenging reminder! in marriage the only score we should keep is how many times we chose to do it God’ s way
    Jason (

  2. I have mentioned this idea to someone who was railing about how their 50/50 arrangement wasn’t working out, and got a blank look in reply. Still, I am in agreement. Each one aiming for 100% — that’s a great goal.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today! About substituting applesauce for the eggs in that muffin recipe — does applesauce act as a binder? (That’s what the eggs do.) I hadn’t heard of that substitution. I’ll have to remember that! My egg substitute is flaxseed meal. For the muffin recipe, which calls for two eggs, if I don’t have any eggs in the house or am making muffins to share with friends who are allergic to eggs, I stir 1/3 cup boiling water into 2 TBS ground flaxseeds, and then let the mixture stand until it thickens. It gets sort of gelatinous, like raw egg white, and it seems to act as a binder in baked goods, keeping them from crumbling away.

    Anyhow, nice to “meet” you!

    • Nice to meet you too. I also do the flaxseed meal too but the applesauce also would work well in your recipe since it already has in the flax. But when I try it I will let you know how it comes out.

  3. Jill says:

    My husband and I included a great quote in our wedding. “I’ll put you first and you put me first and then neither of us will ever come in second place.” We’ve held to that ever since and there’s never been a need to keep score.

  4. messymarriage says:

    I agree wholeheartedly. We can’t always rely on our spouse to do their fair share. When we focus on how much they are doing or not doing, we focus too much on their responsibility instead of staying focused on our own responsibility. I’m with you on this one, my friend. With God filling us up, we are able to carry that powerful percentage and keep our marriage strong. Thanks also for linking up with Wedded Wednesday. I hope you join me again next week!

  5. You are absolutely RIGHT!! Marriage is NOT 50/50% but 100/100% or even just 100% on the part of one spouse. Even if one spouse won’t work on the marriage, a difficult situation can be remedied because ONE of them gave their ALL. It pays off!!

    Thank you for linking up over at WholeHearted Home.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s