I remember when I was going through my first HG pregnancy and I got the diagnosis and things looked so grim, that I asked God “Why?” Why was I suffering throwing up every day, being so sick I felt like I was going to die, then to hear ” Well, your baby’s condition means that it is…..” not compatible with life”.
Boy was I angry…torn…broken…numb.
I’m not going to lie and say that I did not tell God about all those “people who did not want children and still got pregnant and those people who were treating their children badly or who simply chose not to bring those babies into the world.” And here I was, married, a Christian and wanting this baby and suffering through HG to have this child snatched from me.
Oh how I cried…and prayed…and questioned…and blamed.
Then I remembered something I heard at church
“If not you then who?”
Who was I going to recommend to God to take my place and suffer what I was facing- the same thing that I could not bear?
I couldn’t choose anyone.
And then I realized something eternally more wonderful that I can ever express..Someone took my place so that I would not suffer the eternal separation that sin causes.
That same Someone is the One who was there holding me through my dark night of gloom and despair.
That same Someone is the One who turned my sorrow into laughter and my crying into singing and each day I am blessed to be able to look at my healthy, almost 4 year old.
1 John 4:10
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.