If Not You Then Who?


Today’s testimony in our Find Us Faithful Series is one that I have shared here before. Today, I am again sharing this testimony but with a bit more detail.

I remember when I was going through my first HG pregnancy and I got the diagnosis that it appeared that my son had severe poly cystic kidneys. The prognosis was “not compatible with life” if confirmed.

To say that things looked grim is an understatement. I remember going to the specialist and feeling like my whole world had collapsed with her “not compatible with life” statement.

And of course I asked God “Why?” Why was I suffering throwing up every day, being so sick I felt like I was going to die, then to hear,

” Well, your baby’s condition means that it is…..” not compatible with life”.

Boy was I angry…torn…broken…numb.

I’m not going to lie and say that I did not tell God about all those “people who did not want children and still got pregnant and those people who were treating their children badly or who simply chose not to bring those babies into the world.” And here I was, married, a Christian and wanting this baby and suffering through HG to have this child snatched from me.

Oh how I cried…and prayed…and questioned…and blamed- all of my anger, hurt and accusations aimed at no one else but God.

Countless nights I spent researching the condition, I mean I was up anyway being sick with HG right?

And of course you know the Internet, for every one positive story, there are hundreds of horrible ones. It go so bad that my husband had to tell me to stop researching.

that made me even angrier. I thought he didn’t care and didn’t want to know what was going on with the baby. And I told him.

Then I remembered something I heard at church

“If not you then who?”

Who was I going to recommend to God to take my place and suffer what I was facing- the same thing that I could not bear?

I couldn’t choose anyone.

And then I realized something eternally more wonderful that I can ever express..Someone took my place so that I would not suffer the eternal separation that sin causes.

That same Someone is the One who was there holding me through my dark night of gloom and despair.

That same Someone is the One who turned my sorrow into laughter and my crying into singing.

I began to trust God with the situation and spent every moment I could praying for my unborn son. Some days were really hard, especially returning to work after a doctor visit and having to face the classroom.

I got transferred to the main hospital since there was no way I could deliver at the private one like we had planned. It was there that I got my first untrasound, then second a few days later by the consultant radiologist.

New diagnosis:

Severe bilateral hydroneprosis. Treatable.

Praise God!

We got to tour the NICU since we knew that he would have to go there. Then at 35 weeks we scheduled my c-section for 37 weeks since his kidneys were extremely large and he needed to come out as soon as I reached ful term.

The surgery was successful and he was kept in the NICU for only 6 days then kept in the nursery for another 3 days. Tests showed the enlarged kidneys but no obstructions, no kinks in the tubes. Everything was working fine, they just looked different.

At home I watched him like a hawk, to make sure nothing came up. We had a scare when he turned 7 weeks which I wrote about here. But those days are a memory that I recount in praise and thanksgiving to God who brought my son through.  Each day I am blessed to be able to look at my healthy, 4 year old wonder.

Here’s a little note he wrote. It says: Jesus is coming ❤️ And that scribbled ball is an earthquake.



Praise God! I am looking forward to that day when Jesus comes again!

This entry was posted in Find us Faithful, Stories to inspire. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s