Boundaries vs. Individuality: Is There a Conflict Here


“If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.”
― Henry Cloud

She was frustrated, it was written all over face. She wasn’t asking for the moon, merely an opportunity to make her own decision. My daughter had thought this through, felt she was able to accomplish the task, and only wanted the freedom to move forward. It was time to ask myself an important question: Was she crossing a boundary here or just expressing her individuality?

It seems obvious… before we can determine whether our children have actually stepped out of bounds, we need to determine exactly what those boundaries are:


  • You shall have no other gods before Me (the Lord).
  • You shall not make idols.
  • You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
  • Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
  • Honor your father and your mother.
  • You shall not murder.
  • You shall not commit adultery.
  • You shall not steal.
  • You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  • You shall not covet.
  • While this list could go on, by now, it should be pretty obvious where I’m going with this. We are to follow God’s commands, live righteously, and love our fellow man. If my child is living a life pleasing to the Lord, all else falls under the heading of individuality.

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This entry was posted in April 2015, Christian Parenting and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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