Welcome me to another week in our Seires on Depression. Today we have Deena Staples sharing about her experience with depression. You can find Deena writing over at her blog Domestic Duty Calls.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on a brisk November night in 2010. He was a true blessing as we had conceived our other two children with the use of fertility drugs and decided to leave the conception of this final baby up to God. We conceived after only three weeks. We named him “Elias,” which seemed only appropriate.
When we brought him home from the hospital, things went really well. He was my third child and I had this “infant” thing figured out. I knew what to expect and I enjoyed every moment getting up with him at night for feedings. I assumed he would be my last baby, and wanted to savor these moments that God had given me.
I can’t say that the ball dropped gradually, because it didn’t. About three weeks after we brought Eli home I woke up one morning feeling like I didn’t want to get out of bed. No big deal right? I was up all hours of the night. It was fatigue. But it wasn’t. I soon found myself short-tempered with my kids, my husband, and those others closest to me. I went through the motions with Eli, but that was about it. The affection that I had felt for him in the previous weeks seemed to dwindle almost immediately. I didn’t bathe, get dressed or brush my hair. Smiling seemed like a task I just couldn’t perform. My anxiety was in overdrive. I remember in particular the moment we had Eli blessed. My sister sang a beautiful song at the service, and I just sobbed through the whole thing. I remember someone coming up to me afterwards and saying how beautiful she thought it was that I was so overcome with emotion. I shook my head “yes” but she was wrong, I was just plain sad. This was the darkest point in my life
Head over to our co-host Lisa to read rest of story.