Welcome back to another parenting weekend. Today I will be sharing about something my husband taught me that changed how I discipline my children. But before we get into this post which is the final one for our September series, I would like to invite you to preview all of the posts for September here, and the entire Parenting Weekend Series here. And of course be sure to our co-host Grace’s website here and our other co-host Lisa here.
Knowing Your Children. Remaining Calm when Disciplining
I posted before about how what I typically do to remain calm when disciplining my children.
In addition to those things I do, I have to take into account who I am dealing with. My children have different personalities. One is quieter in their response while the other is more matter-of-fact in how they respond to you. One likes to play all the time while the other likes to laugh. There are a lot more things that I could highlight to show that they are very different too.
Since they are so different I can’t expect that they will respond the same way to things, or the same kind of discipline will work with both of them.
When I am dealing with my son they are certain things that will work with him. Likewise they are certain things that will only work with my daughter. Since my son is older and things worked with him I decided to try them with my daughter. I mean, why reinvent the wheel? When they often didn’t work, I because frustrated, frazzled etc. (You know how you get when a child is pushing all of your buttons and you just can’t find anything to work to curb the behavior….)
Anyway, my husband was the one to really helped put things into perspective for me. After a rough day of dealing with the children and not feeling like I was effective at disciplining them, I called him to talk about what we could do to help with the behavior (So I may have said “I just don’t know what to do! These children are driving me nuts! Nothing I am doing is working! When I talk to our son he pretends he has not heard me. When I put our daughter in time out she laughs and plays…) His reply was that I couldn’t expect to use the same methods with both children because they are different. What works for one doesn’t mean that it will work for the other.
Profound I tell you.
So I took his advice and tried to figure out what would work for which child. You cannot imagine how much that changed my life! Because I was able to properly tailor the discipline to the children I did spend time being frustrated that something was not working. One child can be placed on time out. That is effect in disciplining them; the other one, a very stern talking to can work. Those are just a few examples of what I did to save my sanity and health, after all stress kills. I was way too stressed by disciplining now that I have a better understanding of what works for who, I find I am much calmer when dealing with discipline.
And you know what too? Me being calm means that the day goes a lot better than it would if I was stressed, frustrated and overwhelmed.