Your Value is Infinite

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Today’s post is shared by myself. This post just one of the post shared in our Parenting Weekend Series, co-hosted by Me Too Moments and Gods Character. You can all of the posts for May 2015 here and the entire series here.


I have noticed that there are some people who measure the worth of a person based on what they can do, what they have or who they are.

I remember growing up being ashamed of people knowing where I lived because I was poor and lived in a very tiny and old house. It was only later on in life that I realized that I had problems with understanding self worth. I had thought that what I had or didn’t have defined me and my worth was bound up in that. This way of thinking robbed me of living my life to the fullest because I wasn’t really living but rather, I was worrying about what people thought.

I believe that having this wrong view of self worth often plays out in two ways- people either feel that if they don’t have certain things or can’t do certain things that they are worthless.  Other strive with all of their might to achieve things, get good at something so that they can ‘be someone important’. Oh how sadly they are mistaken…

I try to teach my children that an infinite value has been placed on their lives and everyone’s life. They are no better than anyone and no one is better than them. God placed the same value on each person’s life. That is why He gave His Son to die for each and everyone of us.

Teaching my children about self worth revolves around me teaching them about how God views them. It revolves around me teaching them that God views everyone of infinite worth.

I want my children to see that everyone is special and precious. I want them to know that things don’t define our value. Daily I teach them about the plan of Salvation because I want them to always remember this one thing:

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Posted in Agape Love, May 2015 | Leave a comment

I Will NEVER Leave You!!!!

Originally posted on God'sCharacter:

Right now I am sick~ 4 months of pain, continued weight loss, 3 weeks in hospital, thousands of dollars spent in tests and no diagnosis as yet~but I praise God!

And I have found comfort in this text:

God is not responsible for what I am going through. Oh no! Instead He is the One who gives me comfort and keeps me through this.

I thank God that He is with me and that I don’t have to go through this alone!!!!!!

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How to Make Great Expectations

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In order to have a sense of self-worth, children need to know that they can indeed to things for themselves. Don’t stifle their drive.

I grew up with a lovely, caring mother and father. My mother loved to serve and I am sure she had the gift of help. She did everything for my sister and me. We had a few chores but not many. Mom made us lunches for school (even through my university years); she made my bed, tidied my room, made all the meals and did the dishes. Occasionally we would help by clearing the table.

Really when I think about it, I had a full-time servant who loved me.

However, when I left home and got out in the real world I suddenly had to learn to do it all. With the help of a great roommate and then a marriage partner I did learn to do things by myself. I would have felt more confident if I had acquired the skills before I left home.

When we had our children you would think I would see the benefits of having them help around the house – but no – I followed my mom’s pattern and did most of the household jobs by myself. That is until I went back to work. Yes, then everyone’s life changed, including my husband’s. Everyone had to pitch in – complaining or not.

Our youngest was 5 when I returned to work and she adjusted the best. She made her own lunches quite happily, while the older two grumbled.

My point is this – kids learn from routines and expectations. You can develop life-long habits if you start young enough – brushing teeth a couple of times a day, washing hands before eating, getting dressed and ready for school on their own, helping at meal times, keeping their rooms tidy, making their beds. Expect your children to help and it will become a natural habit that they will appreciate later in life. Even toddlers can put toys away, help make basic meals, help bake, get dressed by themselves, help dust and wipe the furniture, etc.

If you expect children to help they will. Start the routines early in life and they will continue with them throughout their lifetime.

Don’t do for your child what he/she is capable of doing for herself/himself.

Scripture tells us that we need to ground our children in the Word. That is the meaning of the following passage. But I think it can be taken as teaching any good activity and how it will help a child grow.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6, NIV).


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Janis Cox is a faithful follower of Jesus. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, a sister and friend. Married to a wonderful husband, they have three grown children who are married; they have seven grandchildren.

She is a writer, watercolour artist and person who always is involved in doing something. She has her fingers in many pies – but all of them are delicious. A friend once told her that she saw a vision of her – with a whole bunch of coloured balloons and she tried to capture each one of them.

As a former public school teacher she loved to write poems for her kids. With this background she has now published her first illustrated children’s book, Tadeo Turtle.

You can find her on Facebook, and Twitter. Tadeo has his own Facebook Page.

Janis is a member of The Word Guild, Inscribe and American Christian Writers. She now does weekly podcasts for HopeStreamRadio. Her website is www.janiscox.com.

Posted in May 2015 | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Building Self-worth in the Anxious Child

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For today’s Parenting Weekend post we have Grace from My Divine Blessings sharing with us.

Grace is a wife, homeschooling mom, doula, pastor’s kid, and writer. She currently resides in southern Oregon with her husband and three gorgeous children, where they enjoy walks in the woods, wading in the river, reading good books, and attending a diverse and compassionate church.


Children with Generalized Anxiety Disorder are nervous. They are concerned about everything. Trying to figure out what to wear in the morning can send them into a fit of tears. Difficulty with an art project might end with screaming and running into another room. Because of this, they are very hard on themselves and have trouble differentiating between what is, and is not, worthy of their time, energy, and emotion. So even the small things that we adults think are “no big deal” are a very big deal to these children. The things we are able to shrug away and try again are like darts in the heart of the anxious child, draining away their sense of worth.

Communicating self-worth to these children is very challenging. If you add learning disorders (such as ADHD or Dyslexia) to the mix—which often accompany Anxiety—you have the recipe for a very difficult time with learning, and the strong likelihood that the child will think very little of herself.

So how does a parent convince their Anxious child that they are worthy?
The answer lies in the little things. Look for opportunities throughout the day to say encouraging things to your child.

“Wow, you did that all by yourself! Look how clever you are!”

“It was so nice of you to help your sister. You’re an awesome helper!”

“That was very compassionate of you to help that boy at the park.”

It takes practice—and focus—to develop this skill. Even with the help of a trained family counselor, I still have to work hard and remind myself to say those little things throughout the day.

Not only do these small gestures have a positive impact on your child’s self-worth, but they also encourage better behavior all around. The more you pay attention to the good things—kindness, patience, compassion, helpfulness, thinking things through—the more they will want to emulate those traits. The more you praise for those things, the more they will want to become those things.

But that is only the first step—the foundation. There must also be a plan of action for those times when, despite all your encouragements, your child is still convinced that they are unworthy. For my daughter, she is convinced that she cannot read. Despite the fact that, when we are doing our reading lessons, she is able to sound out small words, she still has a knee-jerk response of “I can’t read” when someone asks her to sound out a word. When she says that, I calmly acknowledge her feelings, but I don’t give room for her to dwell on them; I counter it with the truth and encouragement, followed by a swift redirection into action. For example, if she says she cannot read, I will say in response, “I know reading can be difficult for you [empathizing with her frustration], but remember how you sounded out that last word? [Reminding her of the truth.] You can sound out this word, too! [Encouragement.] Let’s figure it out together. [Taking action.]”

Her feelings are validated, but she is pointed to reality (rather than her fears), and she is given a little boost before getting back to the task at hand.

Some days are harder than others, and sometimes she is already in such a state of anxiety that even my evidence based, therapist-approved methods don’t work. And when that happens, I am simply there for her. I listen, I hug, and I use reflective listening (echoing what she says without judging or fixing) to get her back to a calm state. Whatever the day—whether it’s smooth and easy, has just a small hiccup, or is full of meltdowns—I am prepared to face it with these tried-and-true methods. Having this toolbox is absolutely vital to keeping my calm and helping my child to get through each day, while also giving her confidence and courage to build her sense of worth.

Having overcome the initial trial, and now encouraged to do what they set out to do, our children can grow in confidence and self-worth. Though it is not accomplishment that gives them worth, they can be convinced of their abilities and their intrinsic value by seeing that with perseverance and tenacity, they can overcome those difficulties. And when we acknowledge the little things they do every day which are character traits (not accomplishments), they start to see, over time, their worth as children of God and as individuals.

Their most important sense of worth, of course, is that of belonging to Christ and being His creation. That they are not perfect and do not always succeed is not where their focus should lie. Their focus ought to be on this fact:

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works…” (Ephesians 2:10)

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Love brings Joy

Love brings joy.
Love does not bring fear.
Love brings trust and not doubt.
A loveless relationship is filled with fear,
unhappiness and doubt.
Serve God today out of love.

 John 14:15
If ye love me, keep my commandments.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

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